As comforting as it is, knowing that no one here knows anything I haven’t told them, I feel like I just need a hug from someone who knows it all
I fuckin’ flat-out LOST IT at that last one. Holy shit.
ASSORTED ENTERTAINMENT CRACKERS
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
you need less jesus
grandad built this house with his bare hands, kids. most people use bricks but not grandad. he thought hands were bricks.
won’t drink lukewarm water but i’ll put another person’s genitals in my mouth